Reasons to Learn NVC During the Summer of 2020

Really specific headline, right? This is such an intense and specific moment in our culture. Things we came to rely on vanished overnight, communication is harder than ever, and there doesn’t seem to be an end in sight. With so much social and personal upheaval, it’s hard to know what to rely on any more.

NVC is a life-affirming communication style rooted in compassion and authenticity. When there’s little to reach for, NVC helps us reach inward for our own truth and reach out to others compassionately. Here’s why now is the time to learn NVC:

  1. We’re realizing dividing lines are all around us that we weren’t aware of. Suddenly, we’re faced with conversations we never expected to have from co-workers, lovers, family members, neighbors - it’s coming from all sides! You used to laugh at old Uncle Joe and now you realize he’s a racist with a vote. Your neighbor’s teenagers are hosting Covid parties. Your boss wants to re-open the office ‘any day now’ and there’s still no plan for how. Simple interactions are rife with pot conflict that can feel as urgent as life or death to some. If you’re self-quarantining, the constant companionship can take it’s toll on members of your home and your closest relationships. NVC offers a simple to follow formula that has been proven in situations from the dinner table, to international peace negotiations. Having a structure that invites clarity and understanding to each interaction is a relief. In the scenarios above, it might not bring agreement, but it can bring peace of mind. Knowing that you did your best to create shared understanding, to express yourself honestly, and to listen empathically is a powerful victory in situations that might otherwise have you feeling at a loss.

  2. We’ve lost so much due to self-isolation and the removal of our social structures like offices, concerts, parties, and even family dinners. The happiest marriages can feel as though they lack real connection when there’s no absence or space to create longing or tension. Zoom meetings can feel more draining than productive and the end of the day can have us feeling lonely and overwhelmed by social interaction at the same time. While that might not change soon, we can change the way we connect with one another. NVC offers a way to mine our authenticity and share it with others. It offers a way to listen empathically - and to be heard empathically which is exactly what you need to feel a deep connection.

  3. There is something profoundly healing and uplifting in saying exactly what you need to. We can’t be recognized for who we are, unless we are able to share who we are. NVC provides tools for answering the question, ”What is alive in you?” It feels obvious, but often what we say isn’t what we are truly feeling. We’re all operating under layers of social, and family conditioning. Patriarchy, past trauma, racism - there’s a long list of systemic and psychological filters that all fight to cloud our feelings from every ourselves. NVC offers a process for peeling back those layers in order to know - and get - what you really want. You deserve that, we all deserve that.

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